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A level results: a parent's view

A level results day can be stressful for parents too, particularly if things don't go as hoped. Just ask Henry...

Henry writes...

"The build-up to the day of the results is slow and painful. All summer you concentrate on daily life but at the back of your mind you know that the day is coming and you feel for your son or daughter as it is probably the most important result (s)he will ever have to face. It's a private agony for parents that kids are probably completely unaware of.

In some ways it is more difficult for the parents as they are powerless to do anything about it but are affected just as much by the result.

In our family we never discuss the way the exams have gone as there is no future in it: if one thinks that they have gone well and they don't then it is so much worse - if one thinks and declares that they have not gone well then the wait is even worse. So it is simply not discussed. That is not to say that a contingency plan is not in place but one does not concentrate on it.

On the actual day - unusually - I took Chris to school to see the marks on the board. Normally, the kids would open the envelope on their own or find out for themselves before telling us - good or bad. So we saw it together - and we couldn't believe it. Economics way off. The others reasonable but not quite what he wanted.

Chris was very cut up - particularly as we felt the whole debacle of the economics result was more to do with a problem with teachers and the curriculum. In these situations, however, you just have to get on with it.

This is not a time for recrimination - it's a time for support.

We discovered that everyone was affected but whatever the rights or wrongs of the economics result, Chris did not quite have the necessary points in his other subjects for his preferred choices. Our view of the situation was that Chris should take a year to get his grades up rather than settling for a lower quality university. Chris agreed and so went into a college in London for the next academic year.

This time around Chris waited for Clearing so as to go for a course that fitted both what he wanted, as well as the results that he would end up with. The process of Clearing is actually quite efficient - it just needs a methodical approach and patience. The issue is always to find a course that suits at a university of a standard that warrants the effort to be put in over the next few years. Chris accepted a place in Scotland - a university which met the academic standards we were looking for but fell somewhat short of the 'ideal' location for him.

Chris handled himself extraordinarily well throughout. The burden of an extra year is a difficult pill to swallow and the upset of not knowing where you will end up also requires adjustment.

In retrospect we probably did not consider all the options. Feeling fairly upset with the school, we did not give them the opportunity to help sort out a solution for Chris. This might not have changed anything but was a mistake. We did not consider a gap year for Chris as the loss of a year had effectively 'used up that space' and he will always have the opportunity to have a gap year after university."



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