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Bangkok to Brighton by tuk tuk: Potholes in China

Monday 12th June 2006: Juang Ha Hotel, Simao. Yunnan Province. China
Ants writes...

"China it seems, has been sent to test us. The last two days have been, to put it mildly, challenging. When we left Laos we felt sure that we had just conquered the worst roads we would encounter in our entire tukathon. The gleaming tarmac of the last 10km to the Chinese border seemed an omen of things to come. How wrong we were. As soon as we were over the border the roads once again deteriorated, this time there was a total absence of solid surface and what was supposed to be a road was in fact a filthy quagmire.

We were scheduled to drive 200km that night to Jinghong, but instead we only made it 60 km to Mengla. Yesterday (Sunday 11th) was even worse. The 140km to Jinhong took us an excruciating six hours. By lunchtime Sam, our guide, a non-smoker for the last three years, was cracking into a
packet of cigarettes. By mid afternoon, the packet was nearly empty and a stream of English expletives was emerging from his normally clean mouth.

After a hard days tukking

It's hard to describe how bad the roads are in Yunnan. They make Laos’ Route 13 seem like the M25. Not only that but we have had to fight with literally hundreds of vast construction lorries, all of us after the narrow sliver of passable road on each stretch. I was so frustrated yesterday I wanted to jump out and pummel the potholes with my bare fists in fury, shout, scream and stamp my feet. Not that this would have achieved anything...but it might have made us feel better.

By the time we arrived in Jinghong we were filthy, tired, hungry and in need of a mechanic. Ting Tong’s leaking front suspension had got worse and Anuwat advised us to get the front shocks replaced.

So rather than having the relaxed evening we were desperately in need of, we spent seven hours sitting on the pavement outside a mechanic's, Ting Tong resting her muddy haunches on jacks, whilst five men battled with fitting her new suspension. At 1.30am they finally won the battle and we tukked back to our hotel, safe in the knowledge that this morning we would be cruising along the expressway to Kunming.

But oh no, such was not to be. Our arrival at the shiny new toll gates of the Kunming expressway was met with shaking heads and a flurry of men in uniform. We were ordered to turn round and go to the police station, where no end of persuading, pleading and stubbornness could change their minds. Three-wheelers and the Chinese expressways are mutually exclusive concepts and it seems nothing we could say was going to change that. Dejectedly, we turned round and turned onto the old road. What should have taken us one hour today took us six...

Beautiful views in China

The implications of not being allowed on the expressway are massive. We have 28 days to travel 4000 miles across China, and our $9,600 itinerary was arranged by the CSITS on the premise that we would be speeding along throughout on these perfect new roads. The alternatives are old, disused, windy mountain roads, littered with rocks and potholes. Enough to make any tuk tuk turn a funny shade of green. Of course we are not going to accept this without a fight and we are trying to mobilize the powers that be to give us special dispensation. But China is the worst place in which to attempt any bending of beauracracy and we could be facing up to double our planned tuk across China. Unbelievable. This makes both our Kazakh and Russian visas invalid and causes a whole host of problems. Jo and I have both been devising plans to give Ting Tong an extra wheel.

Sam is now not only smoking but has developed a gall bladder problem and a total loss of appetite. But then again, we never thought this would be a glitch-free adventure, and Jo and I are both determined to succeed. The more challenges we face, the more determined we become.

Just to top it off our satellite modem refuses to work, as does our mobile phone. But at least Sam is a total dude and China an endlessly fascinating, utterly weird place."

Thursday 15th June 2006: Camellia Hotel, Yunnan, China

"The last few days have been a blur of bad roads and blue construction lorries. Yesterday we covered 300km in eleven hours, the day before 280km in ten hours. Even if you are as bad as maths as I am you can work out that that is a painfully slow average speed. With another 6000 km to go in China, we could be here a very long time...

Despite the British Embassy’s help, the Transport office have said a big fat no to Ting Tong using the expressway. We have heard from several sources that the Chinese government are terrified of anything happening to foreigners, hence their refusal to bend the law. Apparently a lot of accidents happen on these roads - Sam said just last month there was a pile-up killing thirty people. Who knows, maybe it is for the best and the expressway would have been dangerous, but at the moment it's just frustrating. While we crawl along in second and third gear on roads only used by waterbuffalo, goats, mule carts and the odd tractor, streams of blue Dong Feng lorries speed past us on the adjacent expressway. The
mothertruckers.

The solution is uncertain at the moment. Put bluntly, we are in China and we’ve got to get to Kazakhstan, by July 7th if possible. The CSITS (China Sea International Travel Service) are proposing that we drive in excess of 300km for the next 24 days straight. Given the evidence of the last few days, this ain't going to be possible. So we find ourslves in a sticky situation. And no, we are not going to put Ting Tong on the back of a train or lorry. That would be cheating.

Jo and I are still in shock at the condition of the roads in China, well in Yunnan province - apparently they get better. Yesterday we arrived in Kunming - ‘the city of eternal spring’ and capital of Yunnan - home to five million people and one of China’s largest cities. Yet only 5km from the centre the road was no more than a dusty track, riven with deep holes. Trucks, pony carts, tuk tuks (or ‘bom boms’ as they call them here), motorbikes and bicycles all bumped along at 5mph in a cloud of dust. You should have seen the state of us and TT when we arrived at our hotel. Grubby doesn’t even begin to describe it.

However, its certainly not all bad. Yunnan is absolutely breathtaking, a magic place. Our roads may have been bad but they are flanked by awe-inspiring scenery; mountains wreathed in tea and rice terraces,
banana plantations and pine forests. If we weren't under such time pressure we would be delighted to be taking these roads and not the expressway, you see much more of the real China. We also have the endless amusement of people's reactions to not only westerners driving past, but westerners in a pink
tuk tuk. Reactions range from bewilderment to hysterical screams and gaping mouths. We even had one lorry full of construction workers hollering 'I love you' at us!

Sam, on the hand, is finding the whole experience mortifyingly embarassing. His most frequent expression is 'Preease, save my face'. In other words, stop embarassing me. This is normally provoked by our mid-afternoon outbursts of hysteria, when we start singing (Ting Tong merrily on high
is a current favourite) and generally behaving in a puerile manner. There have also been a few occasions when, erm, nature called and we simply had to pull over by the side of the road. Sam was appalled but when you gotta go...

This symbol means luck in Chinese

The fact that we are travelling in a tuk tuk is also a source of humiliation for him. In China everyone wants brand new SUVs, a tuk tuk is something reserved for poor rural areas, he can not understand our choice of vehicle. Even worse is travelling in a dirty tuk tuk and most mornings we find him, sponge in hand, fervently washing the layer of mud and dust off TT. Poor Sam, I think he might be in a straight-jacket by the end of his two weeks with us.

So times are hard but all is OK and the adventure is in full swing. The last few days have been tough but we never expected it to be easy. We're off to the stone forest at Shilin today and hopefully in the next day or two the CSITS will come up with a solution."

Love Ants and Jo x

Click here >> to follow the journey from the beginning
Click here >> for Ants' and Jo's update from Vientiane, Laos
Click here >> for Ants' and Jo's update from Vang Vieng, Laos
Click here >> to Ants' and Jo's update from Luang Prabang, Laos
Click here >> for Ants' and Jo's update on arriving in China
Click here >> for Ants' and Jo's update on troubles in China
Click here >> for Ants' and Jo's update on the Stone Forest, China
Click here >> for Ants' and Jo's update on China Under Construction
Click here >> for Ant's and Jo's update; dirty tukkers in China
Click here >> for Ants' and Jo's update on Western China
Click here >> for Ants' and Jo's update on the Silk Road
Click here >> for Ants' and Jo's update on the Great Wall of China
Click here >> for Ants' and Jo's update on sand tobogganning in the desert
Click here >> for Ants' and Jo's update from Turpan, China
Click here >> for Ants' and Jo's final update from China
Click here >> for Ants' and Jo's first update from Kazakhstan
Click here >> for Ants' and Jo's update from Almaty, Kazakhstan
Click here >> for Ants' and Jo's first update Lake Balkash, Kazakhstan
Click here >> for Ants' and Jo's update on their impressions of Kazakhstan
Click here >> for Ants' and Jo's first update on Russia
Click here >> for Ants' and Jo's thoughts on Russia

Why are Ants and Jo undertaking this crazy trip?
The girls are completing the 12,000 mile journey from Bangkok to Brighton in an attempt to raise £50,000 for the mental health charity Mind. Here at gapyear.com, we fully support their efforts and wish them the best of luck in their challenge. We'd also ask that anyone who has a spare few pennies sponsors Ants and Jo, as it really is a fantastic cause.

Click here >> for the full story

More about Mind Mind

Mental health problems can affect anyone, rich or poor, young or old, shattering the lives of those affected and the lives of the people close to them. One in four of us will experience a mental health problem at some point in our lives. Each year more than 250,000 people are admitted to psychiatric hospitals and over 4,000 people take their own lives. Mind is the leading mental health charity in England and Wales working to create a better life for everyone with experience of mental distress.

Further info

Click here >> for an interview with Ants and Jo
Click here >> to sponsor them now - every penny counts...
Click here >> for Ants and Jo's website
Click here >> to find out more about Mind
Click here >> for more fundraising information

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