Travel is all about putting yourself out there, making the most of the world, and making memories you’ll never, ever forget. Right? Except maybe you can’t get motivated to be one of those inspirational nomadic figures. Maybe you’re just a lazy traveller.
Any of this sound familiar?
You’ve never actually seen a beautiful sunrise
Unless it happened while you were stumbling back to the hostel, hangover already circling, vomit hardening into a crust down your front.
No direct shuttle bus? No deal
It might be on every must-see list ever written, but if there isn’t a direct bus there you won’t be seeing it.
Malnutrition is easy and delicious
The discrepancies in regional McDonald’s menus are practically tattooed in your mind.
You have enough friends already
Yeah, you could socialise. Or you could watch episodes of Friends on your iPad.
Your mobile data runs out on the second day
There’s no need to panic, you’ve memorised a comprehensive map of places with free wifi.
Your underwear is a biohazard
Wearing pants five or six times between washes is hardly the end of the world.
The local language will always be a beautiful mystery
They understand when you order a beer, and they understand when you order a Big Mac. You’re sorted.
No cable car? No deal
That mountain looks beautiful. The view at the top must be incredible. But that’s a lot of stairs. You’ll just Google the view.
Half your possessions will get lost or stolen
You laughed when they suggested you wear a bum bag. Who’s laughing now?
Nothing you’re doing will help you get a job when you go home
‘Body shot record holder’ probably isn’t something to put on your CV.
None of your travel stories are remotely interesting
Don’t worry, nobody wants to hear them anyway!
You learned absolutely nothing
Not a language, not skiing, not the meaning of life; nothing.
You wanted to ‘find yourself’
All you found out about yourself is that you’re incredibly, unabashedly lazy.
And you know what? That’s okay.