Ten tales of absurdity from 2014
Right, we’re almost there folks: a new year beckons. May your 2015s be filled with adventure, silliness and luck – the good kind.
Before we go, we thought we’d cast an eye over our contributions to the global news machine in the last year to see which articles were the most read among your good selves. In doing so we were reminded of some truly bizarre things that happened in various locations on our little space rock in 2014.
As always, we faithfully – sometimes gleefully – reported on as much as we possibly could, from the discovery of a world map showing the biggest and smallest willies across the globe to the fiance who faked his own death to avoid his impending marriage.
Without further ado, we present to you the ten most read gapyear.com news stories of the year!
10th place goes to…
Osama bin Laden’s heavy metal bar
If you aren’t easily offended, and enjoy the sounds of Ozzy Osbourne and Iron Maiden, perhaps you can tick off “pint with a terrorist leader” from your bucket list, at Anhangabau’s unique and bizarre, Bar do Bin Laden.
Date: April 28
9th place goes to…
Xbox controller extracts players’ blood
Don’t you hate it when you’re playing an video game and it’s just not realistic enough? Well, now players can actually lose blood whenever they’re shot, thanks to this new Xbox controller.
Date: November 24
8th place goes to…
Sandstorm reveals unseen Nazca Lines
High winds and sand storms in Peru have uncovered previously unseen ancient Nazca lines within the Nazca plains. The new lines, known as geoglyphs, were spotted by pilot Eduardo Herran and researcher Gomez De La Torre whilst flying over the Peruvian desert last week.
Date: August 4
7th place goes to…
Suicidal man saves drowning man
The suicidal man was threatening to jump off London Bridge into the River Thames late last Wednesday night. However, when a lifeboat was called to the scene in anticipation, the crew discovered a different man in serious trouble in the water.
Date: March 18
6th place goes to…
Airline leaves dog on runway in the rain
United Airlines has earned the ire of animal lovers the world over after a picture was tweeted of a dog stranded on a runway in the pouring rain.
Date: December 29
5th place goes to…
Man allows hyena to eat his genitals
Chamangeni Zulu, originally from Malawi, was acting on a tip-off from a witch doctor in Eastern Province, who told him he would amass sudden wealth if he sacrificed some of his body parts. The witch doctor was vague regarding the manner in which Zulu would get rich from such an act.
Date: March 31
4th place goes to…
UK and Oz to be linked by tunnel
Journeying between the UK and Australia is about to become considerably quicker as plans to build a tunnel through the centre of the Earth have today been given the final go ahead.
Date: April 1 (hint, hint)
3rd place goes to…
$40K TV triggers a flurry of hilarious Amazon reviews
Over the last few weeks, the $39,997.99 price tag of the 85 inch “beast” has sparked an hilarious string of sarcastic reviews on Amazon.com, with the bottom of the page quickly developing into something of an internet meme.
Date: January 30
2nd place goes to…
Chinese backpacker offers sex for travel
19 year old Chinese backpacker Ju Peng has come up with a novel way to fund her travels. Instead of saving up, fundraising, or simply bugging her parents for cash, she has offered sex to any man willing to put her up in each city.
Date: October 28
*this was later shown to be a hoax, but not before the world’s media, including us, had fallen for it!
1st place goes to…
Dutch girl fakes a trip to South East Asia
If you’ve ever spent a rainy evening thumbing through your Facebook newsfeed glaring with scarcely controllable envy at the seemingly endless torrent of pictures posted by unbearably smug friends who are backpacking through some country with scenes so vibrant you wonder if the saturation setting on your screen is faulty, relax. It could all be a backpack of lies.
Date: September 9