Shopping centre to open on Mount Everest

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1st Apr 2015
Written by: Will Jones

Highest peak in the world to receive much-needed commercial makeover

Planning permission has today been granted by the Nepalese government to build a shopping centre on the peak of Mount Everest, with an estimated completion date of December 2015.

The proposal was first put forward several years ago by the Trump Organisation and, after a long period of fierce debate, has finally been approved.

Some argue that the natural beauty of the world’s highest mountain will be ruined, while others – including TOWIE star Gemma Collins, who has been an instrumental voice in favour of the plans – claim the lofty peak is “kind of boring” in its current form and needs “jazzing up a bit”.

Speaking to us directly, Collins went on to say: “When I was in the celebrity jungle thingy last year, I had one of them light switch moments, where I thought nature is alright, but it’s better when it’s got radiators and shops and places where I can get my vajazzle done. Do you know what I mean?”

Taking business from the high street to the high peak

Although the finer details of the shopping centre are still up in the air, one certainty is that there will be a funicular service for those who aren’t willing to make their way to the summit on foot, which is said to be almost as gruelling as reaching the top of Debenhams on Oxford Street.

And on the subject of high street brands, many of the best-known are vying for a place at the top of the world.

McDonald’s is one of the first to have confirmed a presence, and will be promoting its new restaurant with the tagline: “I’m climbin’ it”.

Mont Blanc will also be opening a store, and will be naming it Mont Everest.

The UK-based window retailer Everest has also secured a lease, though sadly has been unable to come up with an amusing rebrand appropriate to the location.

Answers on a postcard to 1 Mount Everest, Nepal.


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