Think sister may be lonely stuck at home on gap year

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Think sister may be lonely stuck at home on gap year

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Total Posts: 1

Joined 2017-01-13

Hi, I know this may not be the most conventional post on this website, but I thought it was worth trying to get some advice.

I am a 20yo male, 3rd year uni student, and enjoying it very much. My little sister is 18yo, who finished upper sixth last year (2016), and didn’t get the A-level results she was hoping for to get into flight school. As a result, she has been retaking 2 of her A-levels this year at the same secondary school. I know she probably doesn’t have very many friends at school because she is now effectively in the year below, only doing 2 subjects. She works a part-time job on weekends, and days she doesn’t have any lessons.

I know she is quite lonely and possibly sad at home, as my little brother is at boarding school (and I’m at uni), and she is living at home with just my parents (who she gets in arguments with daily). She also lacks motivation to work towards her A-levels (I know this because I setup a media server for movies/TV shows at home a few years ago, and check on it every time I come back from uni, and can see from the logs that she starts watching movies and TV shows every day from when she gets back from school, well into the early morning every single day).

All of her friends at school are at uni, and I can only imagine what it’s like seeing all the social media updates on Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, etc every day whilst being at home. I suppose some people might take this as incentive and motivation to do well so that they can experience that too, but I can see how easy it is to just get bogged down in it all. And her arguments with my parents have been getting more and more severe throughout the year, which isn’t surprising.

She visits her friends at their unis occasionally. She has never been clubbing, and does not enjoying drinking much, which is something uni definitely teaches you to love if you don’t already. I know she has quite a lot of money saved up from working her job, but cannot go travelling because she needs to go to school (also I’m not sure how keen she actually is on travelling by herself either).

I think one solutions may be to get her to look forward to something… But I’m not sure what that may be.

Apologies for the random thoughts and long post, but would appreciate any advise of any kind.

Cheers,
-Ollie

     
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Total Posts: 167

Joined 2016-12-27

Hi,

There can be arguments pretty much every day at home and don’t really get on with anyone at college so I can’t wait to finish it. The arguments and the fact that i haven’t left the country before might be the thing making me want to go traveling more and start my life properly and possibly look to move away after but I want to be gone for add long as possible and feel like I’m the one that isn’t really wanted where ever I am and prefer to be left alone in some situations and I don’t really go out either and I don’t know what caused any of it but it might be having been bullied makes me want to leave more to get rid of the memories of it all and use music quite a lot to try and forget about it.

I parents and sister complain about not really having many friends but try to ignore then as they don’t exactly know or understand everything that I have been through and can’t and will struggle to tell them anything.

I can’t go traveling until I finish college and try to use this to make me look forward to finishing it, however I don’t want to go on my own.

Charlotte

     
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Total Posts: 24

Joined 2014-10-25

Ollie,

Not to state the obvious but have you tried just talking to her???

Charlotte,

It’s easy to say that nobody understands where you’ve been (And I’m not saying they do) but have you explained what happened and talked through It? If not with family, most colleges have support systems available.

Good luck to both of you.