feeling lost and clueless

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feeling lost and clueless

Rank

Total Posts: 3

Joined 2017-04-19

Not sure where to start with this and obviously I don’t want to go into a life story. However it is always difficult detailing ones circumstances without necessary information.
Last month I returned after a few months in S America.  Before I left I was in a contracted role in the civil service which I didn’t mind doing and would have carried on there, however I didn’t get the permanent job when it was offered. I had 4 other interviews for other roles but was not successful despite coming very close to getting one of them. I was torn about whether to travel or carry on looking for work but in the end I went for this trip. It was good trip, no regrets on that aspect.

Now I’ve been back for more than a month and it’s been a very difficult time. I feel very anxious, low motivation, self pity and generally extremely disappointed with myself and my life.  I have been here before though, story of my life.

I’ll be in my mid thirties in a few weeks time and the very thought of it is making me very anxious and in a panic. This is because I’m feeling completely lost and so far behind in life. I have no partner, no career and no job for now, no home (I live with family at the moment). I have nothing going for me. I never thought that I would reach this stage of my life and have very little to show for it. I do want to settle down, meet someone, have a family etc. but these things you cannot control of course. I have tried and keep trying but I think it’s more to do with not really having that focus on what I actually want. I’ve thought about seeing a career coach but with the fees that they charge it’s probably unrealistic at the moment.

For most of my life I have had no clue as to what to do with myself. I’ve struggled with depression etc so that hasn’t helped.  I enjoy travelling, sport, aviation, movies etc. but so do alot of people.  As I said I was comfortable in working in the large government depts. where I’ve been before as I didn’t mind the environment and lack of corporate culture. 

I would love to live and work abroad as I’ve been settled in the UK for too long now.  Problem is I’m not an engineer or doctor where I can just take my skills anywhere.  I would settle for an ok job in a place like this, someone to come home to and a modest place to live.  That’s not much to ask for yet I’ve never even come close to getting there. I have been stuck in this same place for so many years. 

     
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Total Posts: 232

Joined 2016-12-27

I have been felling similar at the moment, I’ve just started my first job and I’m beginning to wonder if it was the right decision to start before travelling

Sometimes i wish i had someone to talk to about my problems , but people don’t seem to like me and hope travelling can help sort out everything that has happened