girlfriend problems - all based around travelling!

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girlfriend problems - all based around travelling! 

Avatar for Dannyfresh

Total Posts: 33

Joined 2007-10-25

So, i’m going around the world for a year (by myself in a few months time)

my gf (of 7 months) has basically said unless i stay together with her while im away, its over….

i originally said to her that i want to be single when i travel, as having a gf back home will (i think) just cause lots of problems - i’ll spend a lot of my time worriying about her and missing her etc, and knowing theres nothing i can do as i’m the other side of the world.

I also can’t promise her that i’ll feel the same way i feel now when i return (as i’ve read so much that travelling change you) - and when i come back i may not even want a gf.

Since planning to travel (i’ve been planning for about 8 months) i’ve said i want to be single when i go as i think it’ll allow me to experience more and i sorta want to cut all ties from home…

so just wondering if anyone here has travelled by themselves but left their gf behind - and how did things pan out?

Its pretty much come down that i have to decide if i want to stay with her while i go, and hope we both feel the same when i get home, or if i can’t commit to staying together, its over now (which i really don’t want)....

A very shit situation indeed.

views/opinions appreciated!

Avatar for tommarvelle

Total Posts: 6567

Joined 2005-09-29

I do it all the time, mate. But we’ve been together for 8 years and we both often travel alone.

It’s a tough one. You’re either cool with it or you’re not. If you’re not 100% sure about her, then you should probably call it off. Despite what she says, things might well pick up again when you’re back.


Avatar for MistressofSarcasm

Total Posts: 1804

Joined 2007-05-30

A year is quite a long time to be apart. You will hear different things from different poeple but I’d say it depends on how strong you are together now.
Although personally I wouldn’t let her give me an ultimatum

Avatar for Marie512

Total Posts: 1049

Joined 2008-01-11

I am leaving my boyfriend behind but as we have only been together for a short while i will probably call it off before i go. Its all about choice and how serious you are about it.

Also if you decide to stay with her and then do cheat it will make things worse and end up upsetting her more then if you just ended it before you went!

Avatar for Wat_a_joke

Total Posts: 270

Joined 2008-02-08

But you want to be single when you go?...doesn’t that answer your question?

have a great time anyway :D


use the ol’ bait and switch…make the promise then ‘change your mind’ just before you go

Avatar for ambermarie

Total Posts: 800

Joined 2005-07-30

I stayed with my boyfriend of a year and a half when I went travelling, and I was only gone for five and a half months but when I got back home I felt completely different about our relationship and we ended up breaking up, even though when I left to go on my gap year I couldn’t have imagined ever feeling that way.
A year is a long time to be apart, and seven months isn’t very long into the relationship; would you end up spending more time away from her than you’d actually been with her?
At times, whilst I was travelling, I also wished that I was single, simply because everyone is a lot more relaxed and you meet a lot of different interesting people, and I think it would just be nice to know that if the opportunity for anything arises you are free to take it!  :wink:

Avatar for tommarvelle

Total Posts: 6567

Joined 2005-09-29

Banging your way around the globe is more fun, it’s fair to say.


I was with my boyfriend for 4 years, and I always wanted to travel but he didn’t want me to go as he couldn’t afford to go with me. We split up last year and Im off in 4 months. We’ve made contact again and he’s really happy for me that Im about to do my dream, and now we’re staying in contact as friends and said if things pick up again when I get back then “who knows”. You dont know whats around the corner, but personally I think you need to be single

Avatar for flashpacker

Total Posts: 5495

Joined 2006-04-29

To be honest BF/GF and travelling do not mix. Once out of the bubble one lives in, into the stress free world of pleasure and travelling, our hidden personality comes out in open. We become different person altogether. When you come back, travelling would have changed you a lot. Your current GF will find it difficult to relate to a changed person. So, let her go. A seven month GF is as good as not a GF.

You say you want to travel alone. So you not only asked the question, but you have answered it yourself.


Avatar for Knibbsy

Total Posts: 559

Joined 2008-01-18

i’ve read so much that travelling changes you…when i come back i may not even want a gf.

Wow. If it changes your entire sexuality I’ll be impressed.

Where are you going, to stay at some obscure, all-male, voodoo cult?

Avatar for Ollie1990

Total Posts: 297

Joined 2008-05-16

I’d kill her, it solves everything…

Nah seriously, I just broke up with my girlfriend of a year because I want to concentrate on my future and travelling etc. I don’t think I could travel thinking about someone back home, my mind would wonder. I’d say break up, but if you stay together, just don’t get her a present. That will piss her off.

Avatar for Warrick

Total Posts: 6269

Joined 2005-12-31

Everyone has different opinions on this one.

But the big question you have to ask yourself is:

“Is your missus fitter than the drunk, tanned, nubile 18 year old gymnast who came travelling to ‘find herself’ and has now ‘found herself’ in your beach hut…”

Avatar for lilac_turtle

Total Posts: 135

Joined 2006-05-30

I left my (complete twat of an ex)boyfriend for six months when I went away… we technically stayed together.. but then I got back and he’d turned into an immature wanker. Problem then created of not being able to dump somone who has waited (or not, as the case.. was) for you for however long without seeming like a right bitch. I escaped after a couple months of causing each other hell haha.

Moral of the story - yeah, it might all get fucked up while you’re away BUT if you don’t try it, you’ll never know. And it’s always better, in my humble opinion, to eliminate that pesky ‘what if?’. That and your girlfriend might not be as much of a cock about the whole thing as my darling ex…


I am currently in the same “aka shit” situation as you. I been with my g/f for 2.5 years and recently decided to take a break. We had multiple fights on the simple things but when it finally came down to it she confess she was scare of me traveling for a full year and didn’t think she could take the distance.

I respect her decision and but it felt like the ultimatum was be with her (no questions) or chase my dream of traveling. She finally realize that was not the right approach to our situation and is trying to respect my choice in traveling. Although we are not together right now, we are trying to work on our friendship.


Total Posts: 11379

Joined 2006-06-29

i met my bf in oz 4 and a half years ago, we spent 7 months together in sydney then went our seperate ways but still together. then last sept i went away on my own, been back 3 weeks and we are still together. for us splitting up was never an option, we didnt even think about it until people mentioned it.

when i was in oz when we first got together i did find that alot of guys would just ignore me when they found out i had a bf and was quite worried it would be the same this time, but i met so many lovely people and even travelled with 3 aussie guys for a week in thailand. you just need trust, i told him everything, about going out and getting wrecked with guys to sleeping ina hotel room with 3 aussies to save cash!

but you sound like you want to be single, so i think you already know what you need to do!

i have to say though my first 2 weeks in oz as a singleton before i met my bf were fantastic!! haha