I’d just like to say that some customers really wind me up. It doesn’t matter what line of work you’re in, you’ll always get some customer that is just annoying.
I worked abroad last summer in France as a Travel Rep. Most of the time I loved it and had the time of my life. However, here are a few complaints I got from holidaymakers. These are all real complaints:
1) “I got here and took my children down to the beach. They went into the sea and there were fish! Why wasn’t I told about this!!!”
2) “The picture in the brouchure showed the sand as white, when I got here it was yellow!”
3) “The picture in the brochure showed it was sunny. It’s raining!”
4) “I ordered two single beds for my apartment. When I got here we had one double. Now my girlfriend’s pregnant.”
Or my all time favourite holiday complaint was from an elderly woman:
It was raining outside and the weather had generally been cloudy for a couple of days. This lady casually said, “I came here last year to this exact resort and it was sunny.” I was about to say something sympathetic and be all good customer service when she said, “we came at the exact same time last year too. And it was sunny.” I was about to say that it can’t be sunny all the time but she held up her hand, “but last year, I booked with Thompsons!”
I also hated dumb questions like “When does the Midday BBQ begin?” or “Where is “dinner in the Corral restuarant” held?”
Does anyone have any other dumb complaints?
I like the old lady thing, that really made me laugh!
I used to work in Debenhams & a customer once asked me where did we sell dogs?
This one lady came into the store asking for a refund because this statue that she had brought from us had broken. She had given the impression that we had broken, so when I asked her how it happened, she said that her son was playing football & his ball knocked it over! The nerve of some people!
Many, I used to work in McDonald’s (oh the shame) and the main complaint was: After the customer has stood at the counter waiting for their friend, then sat down, unwrapped their burger, eaten their chips and drank half their drink, they bite the burger (now unwrapped for about ten minutes), find its cold and bring it back. We were obliged to give them a new one too!! Made me laugh.
Another one, from a nice lady in HMV, was more a question than a complaint: “Excuse me, do you know what film Brad Pitt is in??” Er yeah, lots “Which one will my son like then?” ARGH, I don’t know your son, and Brad Pitt has been in lots and lots and lots of films. So annoying!
Didnt an obese boy in america sue mcdonalds because he had a mcdonalds meal a day and nobody had told him they were fattening?
Classic questions/complaints i used to get asked in Tescos when i was minding my own business putting tampax on a shelf
“where is your frozen pizza?”
“have you tried in our frozen department?”
No, i didn’t think of looking there”
” I want to complain to the manger…its too cold down the milk aisle!”
Man trying to work out which Tampax to buy for his wife: ” Does Super/Regular/Mini refer to the size of the individual womans thingy!” (I seriously got asked this question)
“Where is (some random product) i brought it here last week?”
“sorry we don’t sell it, never have done”
“but i brought it here last week”
Why must customers always tell this lie????
Customer asks for a product that clearly has a ‘Temporay out of stock’ ticket on it and the date it will come in.
“Do you have any more of this?”
“No its out of stock until—-”
“so you don’t have anymore out the back then?”
“No, we won’t be getting any unitl——-”
“ok…can you go and see if you have any out the back then!”
“Can i get a refund on this bottle of bleach please?”
“why whats wrong with it?”
“It made big white patches on all my clothes”
hmmm that will be because its bleach!!!!
“I want to exhange this butter that i brought its gone black”
“thats because it went out of date 2years ago you stupid, stupid person!”
I could go on forever but i’ve forgotton most them. Never Ever under estimate the stupidity of a customer! Every stupid questions is possible and every reason for returning something is possible.
“The customers always right”....my a*se!
Some of those are so funny!!!!
I got one recently while I was working at my local newsagents.
“Do they do this paper in hardback?”
Urggh yes- when you explain you have no more stock and they ask you to go and check out back! THEN go and ask another member of staff to find it because OBVIOUSLY you’re just trying to stop them buying the products because that’s how a succesful business is run….
At a stall selling hats, where It’s clearly displayed that ‘one size fits all’
“So you haven’t got this in a bigger size have you?”
At the 24hr Tesco i used to work at, a guy was comlaining that they’re was too much car park space and that “if you counted the number of cars in the car park right now compared to the spaces wasted it’s not economically”.....this was all at 10.30pm on a weekday evening…
I work in B&Q and once a customer came up to ask about our customer toilet.
“Have you got a key for your customer toilet?” they asked
“No. It can’t be locked from the outside,” I replied
“Well, I’ve tried pushing it, but it won’t open,” they insisted
“Are you sure noone is in there already?”
“Oh, I didn’t think of that.”
Aw no way! What a moron! Its not a customer complaint but it reminded me of something..my friend worked in “staples” and once someone asked where the toilet was, and they either didnt have one or it was busy…anyway the guy walked off and a few minutes later (to put it as politely as is possible!) he urinated in one of the rubbish bins :( I mean, how gross can you get!!
Well its not really a complaint but… when working at Game a couple of years ago, a phonecall I had the misfortune of answering…
(usual rubbish Game minute-long-phone-answering-spiel)
“Oh hello there. I don’t know if I’ve got the right place here but I thought I’d give it a go. You see, my mother’s just died and there’s a lot of her possessions I don’t need, and I was wondering if you’d maybe take them from me.” (so I thought, Ok, it’s possible her mother was a gamer, we’ll see what she’s got… “Well there’s not much really… her electric wheelchair is the biggest thing, then there’s a regular wheelchair, a few different walking sticks…” (I put the phone on secrecy because I can’t stop laughing) “... we’ve also got a walk-in bath and a stairlift, although I’m not sure how to remove those…”
Now I just had to interrupt her and say… “I’m sorry, I really do think you’ve got the wrong place. We sell video games.”
“Oh really! Are you sure?”
“Yes I’m sure.”
“Oh alright then, if you don’t want them… bye now.”
The best complaint was from some little sh*t in a November, and The Sims on PS2 had just been delayed to February.
“Where’s the Sims on PS2”
“Its been put back a few months until February unfortunately”
“No it ain’t, my mate’s got it”
“Actually it has, maybe your friend has a demo copy”
(child runs off somewhere and returns with ars*y looking man)
Man: “Are you calling my son a liar? I’d like to speak to your manager about this”
Manager: “No, she (me) is right, the Sims isn’t out until February”
Man: “Come on son, let’s get to a ‘proper’ game shop”
Also had some good complaints at Gamestation. One gem - “there’s a massive bug in this game, when you press X to go forwards it just takes you back to the title screen” - that would be because X is back in this game my dear.
Plenty more where they came from! Ah retail. Can’t beat it.
When i was working in a summer cafe, 3 really fat people came in, and they all ordered large chips and hamburgers. Then, the man said, “and three cokes please.” But the lady at the back chirped up, “no, david, diet coke for me, im on a diet!.” If your on a diet, you dont bloody eat burger and chips.
but everyone knows that drinking diet coke cancels out the other calories….right?
Hey everyone, I found this while I was browsing the Internet. Very amusing !
True Stories from Travel Agencies
I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window.
A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, “Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?”
I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with “I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. “Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, “Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa.” Her response ... click.
A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, “Don’t lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state.”
I got a call from a man who asked, “Is it possible to see England from Canada?” I said, “No.” He said “But they look so close on the map.”
Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay-over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, “I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time.”
A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
A woman called and asked, “Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who’s luggage belongs to who?” I said, “No, why do you ask?” She replied, “Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I’m overweight, is there any connection?” After putting her on hold for a minute while I “looked into it” ( I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
I just got off the phone with a man who asked, “How do I know which plane to get on?” I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, “I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them.
“A woman called and said, “I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes.” I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, “Yeah, whatever.”
A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. “Oh no I don’t, I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.” I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, “Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express.”
A woman called to make reservations, “I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York” The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: “Are you sure that’s the name of the town?” “Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a Hippopotamus anywhere.” The customer retorted, “Oh don’t be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!” The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, “You don’t mean Buffalo, do you?” “That’s it! I knew it was a big animal!”
True Stories from Flight Attendants
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the “in-flight safety lecture,” and their other announcements, a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
“There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…”
“Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments.”
“We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, please contact a member of the flight crew and they will escort you to the wing of the airplane.”
“Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately.”
Pilot - “Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land… it’s a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern.”
And, after landing: “Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”
As we waited just off the runway for another airliner to cross in front of us, some of the passengers were beginning to retrieve luggage from the overhead bins. The head attendant announced on the intercom, This aircraft is equipped with a video surveillance system that monitors the cabin during taxiing. Any passengers not remaining in their seats until the aircraft comes to a full and complete stop at the gate will be strip-searched as they leave the aircraft.
Once on a Southwest flight, the pilot said, “We’ve reached our cruising altitude now, and I’m turning off the seat belt sign. I’m switching to autopilot, too, so I can come back there and visit with all of you for the rest of the flight.”
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella…WHOA..!”
“Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or adults acting like children.”
“As you exit the plane, please be sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.” “Last one off the plane must clean it.”
And from the pilot during his welcome message: “We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry…Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight…!
Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, “That was quite a bump and I know what ya’ll are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendants’ fault…it was the asphalt!”
Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate!”
Another flight Attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: “Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that. I’m sure that everything has shifted.”
From a Southwest Airlines employee…. “Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt, and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.”
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a “Thanks for flying XYZ airline.” He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady, walking with a cane. She said, “Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?” “Why no Ma’am,” said the pilot, “what is it?” The little old lady said, “Did we land or were we shot down?”
After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silent, we’ll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.
Part of a Flight Attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of us here at US Airways.”
I had someone who wanted to stay at the Bob New hart Inn in Connecticut. When I explained that the inn was fictional, the customer became very irate and insisted “I know it is real, I see people check in every week!”
Hope you like em!
My job on and off for the past 2-3 years has been as an archaeologist for my local council. A common question from the stupid, stupid public after you’ve just told them that you’re digging out a medieval RUBBISH pit, full of medieval RUBBISH is ‘have you found any gold in there?’ Another good one is ‘have you ever found any dead people?’ To which I’m always tempted to answer, ‘No, but there were a whole load of alive people pretending to be dead in a hole over there.’ :evil: