help me please stuck in a rut & too scared to do it

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help me please stuck in a rut & too scared to do it

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Total Posts: 180

Joined 2010-07-28

hi girlies.

i’m new on here. i’m 23 & living in birmingham.
i hate this country & don’t think it has anything to offer - well birmingham certainly doesn’t lol.


i’ve been feeling really down for the last god knows how many months. i’m stuck in a dead end job & haven’t got any alevels or a degree or anything & don’t know what i want to do for a career. i’d go back into education if i knew what it was i wanted to do. all i know is i’m passionate about travel & want to see the world. none of my friends will come with me & i’m too scared to go on my own. i have no idea where i’d start.
i feel i don’t know who i am & feel i’ve lost all my confidence & need to find myself. i’m thinking if i managed to get out there & live the dream i might find what i want to do for a career when i’m back & finally find me.

anybody else felt like this? any1 been & done & came back a different person?

looking for any advice, tips anything really

a lost lu lu xx

     
Avatar for Swangirl
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Joined 2010-07-13

I’v felt like that for while, I left uni 2 years ago and am working in insurance not pleasant really and there arent many jobs around to help me look, wanted to go into techin but got so fed up of being rejected.

Iv decided to just give it all up and go, its actully cheered me up alot jst thinking about it, I think that sometimes getting away from it all can help. I dont about you but im 23 and still live with my parent, looser i know, and sometimes the pressure is just so much with everyone expectin things of me, im going ravelling to become the person i want to be not what ohers want me to be, have you considered where you want to go im going to nz oz and other places.

     
Avatar for Swangirl
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I’v felt like that for while, I left uni 2 years ago and am working in insurance not pleasant really and there arent many jobs around to help me look, wanted to go into techin but got so fed up of being rejected.

Iv decided to just give it all up and go, its actully cheered me up alot jst thinking about it, I think that sometimes getting away from it all can help. I dont about you but im 23 and still live with my parent, looser i know, and sometimes the pressure is just so much with everyone expectin things of me, im going ravelling to become the person i want to be not what ohers want me to be, have you considered where you want to go im going to nz oz and other places.

     
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Total Posts: 180

Joined 2010-07-28

Wow it’s great to hear I’m not the only 1 feeling like this although it’s not a great feeling.

I just feel in such a bad place & I’ve never found myself & feel I need to grow up now. I’ve never been independent.  I’m 23 too &  still live at home.

I like the idea of oz, new zealand, Fiji, south east asia & america too. Basically anywhere & everywhere.

When are you going?

I really like the idea of volunteer work too. I look at the world & think it’s a cruel world & would like to try make a difference in some sort of way no matter how small.

Xx

P.s u shouldn’t give up on the teaching if u really want to do it. The knock backs will make u appreciate it more when u finally get it. Also have u thought bout volunteering & teaching would look good on ur CV & hopefully make u stand out above the rest, just a thought xx

     
Avatar for rolltop
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Ok i know i am not a girlie but tough shit i am gonna post anyway. Ha.

Go for it, i was in the exact same situation as you when i went away (except i didnt feel so much down as bored with life) and it is the best thing i ever did, i can’t honestly say i came back any wiser about my future, and have since lapsed back into dead end jobs, but at least i have happy memorys to look back on.

Hopefully it will work for you and you will find your self, sounds like you have nothing to lose either, Im 26 and just applied for a 2 year Diploma ewhich i hope will come in handy when i next bugger off so you have plenty time to figure out if/what you may want to study.

Enjoy.

     
Avatar for rolltop
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In fact why don’t you book a few days in somewhere like Rome or Amsterdam or Barcelona, stay in a Hostel and see how easy it is to meet like minded people and how many do it solo and let their tales inspire you. Also buy ‘A Map For Saturday’ and that will inspire you, it’s a DVD and there is an entire post about it if you search on here.

     
Avatar for Daisyd
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Hey, I saw your message about travelling and thought I would come say hi grin

Im 27 and after finishing uni and working for a bit I decided I would go on a bit of a trak to ‘find myself’ lol,

I am going away in October till April visiting Oz, NZ and America. I am currently going it alone but would love to meet some people to trek with!

Do you have any plans at all? xx

     
Avatar for Donnabright
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Joined 2010-08-02

Please don’t be scared! It does sound like an adventure abroad is just what you need right now, I know I have been feeling the same! I bloody hate my chosen career path and am so looking forward to packing in my life in England to start my travels!  I too feel like I do not have much left going for me over here (I too have had to move back in with my parents), with no career plans, no real independence right now and a series of failed relationships/friendships to boot I feel now is the perfect time to go!

I do suggest if you’re scared to do what Rolltop suggested and go for a practice run, I know this because I did it! I went to Rome last year for 8 days and hostelled for the first time on my own just to see if I could do it!  I loved it, and was more than suprised to find lots of girls like us in the same boat with the same ideas etc.  I never got lonely (if this is one of the things you are worried about) everyone is so friendly and welcoming and was never short of company for eating, going out, day trips etc.  I think the most refreshing thing is the open-mindedness friendliness other female travellers, makes such a lovely change from the closed minded individuals you may be familiar with back home! 


I say just do it, you only regret what you don’t do!

     
Avatar for Swangirl
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I did a test run through europe- ancient hisory student= lots of places of interest lol. I am really looking forward to going away still nervous cos i dont want toleave and come back to the same situation.

I’m also panicked as people back home dont seem to think i can do this and they think its all just loip service how to i get people to believe in me? Iv done the test run and im saving up but what else?

     
Avatar for Meanie
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do it ... go easy on yourself, and take the plunge.  I’m 31 and about to go on a RTW, but i’m very lucky to be able to do it (a job to come back to etc) most other people i know my age (even some in their 20’s) can’t do it as easily because of responsibilities here; house/job/pets/kids ... it won’t be long before one day you’re wondering where the time went and how you managed to accumulate the house/job/pets/kids, and you’ll look back on now and think ‘why the hell didn’t I….?’

Don’t be under any illusions though that you’ll go an ‘find yourself’ and come back and the world will fall in to place around you - of course it’s possible, anything can happen, but the most likely scenario will be that you come back, move back in to your parents, and start wondering what to do with your life again… how about making a few decisions before you go?

And about being scared ... just do it, and when you get there, you’ll see there was nowt to be scared about smile

     
Avatar for Donnabright
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Swan girl, if you’ve done a test run I’m sure you’ll be fine!  Don’t worry about what other people think, their lack of foresight is not your problem!  Their jealously of your freedom may also be influencing their negative attitutes.  Do not even give their doubts a further second of your thoughts, as long as you believe in yourself that you can do it that is all you need.  Im pretty sure you can do it considering your test run experience and we haven’t even met!  Like meanie said maybe drawing up a battle/career plan before or during your trip could hopefully stop you falling back into your usual UK routine for long on your return :D

     
Avatar for Ladyemski
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Glad there are others feeling like that too!

After my chance of my dream job fell through last month I have decided that I am going to be selfish and live for me instead of everyone else and go off and see some of the world. I am in the first stages of planning a year out in OZ and NZ and possibly more depending on how that works out. I am hoping to leave around march next year. I’m 25 (26 in a few weeks) and I am only just getting around to doing it!

x

     
Avatar for Ames123
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I agree with other posters in that don’t go expecting to find yourself. I spent a year in Australia last year and thought I would decide in that year what career I wanted. But I didn’t. I’m now back and a little :(  how everyone else seems to have jobs/working in their chosen field/renting or buying houses. I keep forgetting that I have been away for a year and seen so much!
So yeah like someone said, perhaps have a little back-up plan for when you return.

Back to the main topic - I think in this climate there is all the more reason to go away. Go for it!

Off-topic here but has anyone found that when they were away they said that when they got back they would do little trips to places, see more of Europe and has yet to? For some reason a year in Australia was easier to sort out than a weekend in Europe. I just never get round to it!

     
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Total Posts: 180

Joined 2010-07-28

Thanks all.

When I said I’d hope to come back & found myself by this I mean finally know who I am, finally be Independent, outgoing, more self esteem & be comfortable in myself & maybe feel like I can fit in.

I like the idea of doing volunteer work so that could maybe help me decide what career I’d like to do who knows. I love the idea of helping people.

Thanks again peeps xx

     
Avatar for Ames123
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When I said I’d hope to come back & found myself by this I mean finally know who I am, finally be Independent, outgoing, more self esteem & be comfortable in myself & maybe feel like I can fit in.

 

Ah yes, that’s what I hoped to and I did. I’m surprised at what I achieved and did gain confidence. Some of which has been lost though as i’ve been back in the UK but not completely.

Where’s your profile pic, looks nice?!

     
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Total Posts: 180

Joined 2010-07-28

When I said I’d hope to come back & found myself by this I mean finally know who I am, finally be Independent, outgoing, more self esteem & be comfortable in myself & maybe feel like I can fit in.

 

Ah yes, that’s what I hoped to and I did. I’m surprised at what I achieved and did gain confidence. Some of which has been lost though as i’ve been back in the UK but not completely.

Where’s your profile pic, looks nice?!

I’m not independent at all. I really need to be but I lack confidence which is why I’m struggling to make the decision to just go when I know deep down it’s what I want. I’m really passionate about travel & not much else really.

My profile pic was taken in the maldives. I went on hol there this year - beautiful place x