German bashing

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German bashing

Updated 15 years, 6 months ago

Guttentag( Sorry for the spelling, can't speak kraut very well), Am currently in this bizarre town in Namibia called Swakopmond, on the
Atlantic coast. It is so German it could be munich or hamburg or some other hun town, except for the palm trees and sun. The buildings are all german and they even play bavarian music in the supermarkets. The place is crawling with jerries, so it's been quite tiring having to say "Funf- Ein" to each one (That's 5-1-as in the football score- for all the slow-brained Aussies in the audience). Really nice town though, and the people are very friendly. namibia is very well off for africa so there is no hassle on the streets and there are ATMs everywhere. Having recovered from Malaria, I'm now back on the ale and building up my tolerance levels back to their former awesome powers. It's still only pre-season training yet, but boy, it still tastes good. After Vic Falls where I was laid up convalescing over Xmas and New Year with no Boozing (what a fucker, eh?), we headed off for the Okavango Delta. Went bush for a few days in the middle of nowhere, right out in the delta, on canoes through the reeds. Unfortunately some hippoes did not appreciate this intrusion and went after us. Quite a bad show really, not good for the old ticker when a 2 ton beast is leaping like a salmon out of the water in your direction at a distance of 5 yards. We had to thrash our way quickly through the reeds to the shore, luckily not capsizing. Dead exciting, though the terrifed chick in my canoe( there were three canoes) did not appreciate my efforts to lighten the mood by getting my penknife out when they attacked and waving it at them. No sense of humour some people.

We camped in the middle of nowhere under the stars and a full moon which
illuminated the surrounding area to reveal a beautiful chiaroscuro(get yer
dictionaries out aussies) effect on the water, trees, hippoes, birds and
reeds. It was stunning. After that went to etosha nat. park, further into Namibia, which was scrub and desert. Saw quite a bit and the campsites we stayed at were by waterholes, lit up at night so you could watch all the action during the busy night time. Saw two rhinos have a fight and one killed the other which we watched die slowly and painfully in front of us, as we chatted and munched on biscuits, swigging beer. Pretty bad taste I thought, Port or brandy would have been more fitting.

Bush camped in the middle of the desert next. bloody cold at night but
really beautiful scenery. Then saw a bloody smelly seal colony. Loads of
dead young ones everywhere which get squashed by the big fat older ones
apparently. Similar to scenes in Glasgow tenements, I believe.
Well after Swakopmond its more heat and dust as we head for the Sossusvlei dunes. Namibia's main line in souvenir seems to be sand, which is free and gets everywhere. Some dickhead tried to sell me some the other day in a jar?!? I just showed him the contents of my pockets, ears and arse crack. He soon pissed off then, brown wet sand looks as bad as it smells. Anyway, on that pleasant note I must away,

keep smiling you scum, Dan

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