Yes, I am still in Perth

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Yes, I am still in Perth

Updated 15 years, 7 months ago

once again it's time for my nonsense update from down under. Well, after
doing very little in the first week(went to a few bars and played football-
I still ache. Fitness has dropped), I'm still Perth-bound, but out of the
hostel and staying with lady who was a school friend of my mother in Kenya. Very nice, and free! I'm actually doing things now. Went down south of Perth to stay with a girl I met on the Oasis truck. Went up in to the Darling Range- beautiful country round there. Jumped in a rock pool, got bitten by a horsefly type thing- it was huge! Going south from Perth on the bus, it was just miles and miles of "dream home" suburbs. Endless, faceless, uniformity and they were busy building more! The houses were all detached, probably with a pool and were perfectly "nice", but blimey, it looked like hell to live there- really stultifying and claustrophobic. I was amazed. What i imagine middle America to be like.

Went to a country race meeting at Pinjarra for the Pinjarra cup. Obviously a big day as it was packed. Lots of posh-looking ladies in big hats a la
ladies day at Royal Ascot, posh-sounding businessmen doing deals and
entertaining clients, old aussie blokes in cowboy hats(fags hanging from the
corner of their mouths), betting furiously, and then.........Bogans!!
Hundreds of them! At last, here were the legendary Bogans (Aussie Yobboes). I kept staring at them, partly as they look so odd and also to study them, listen to their conversation and soak it all in. I was stopped from doing this as i was reminded that they have violent tendencies and should not be provoked. But it was fascinating, finally seeing some aussie fauna at close hand. Why do they shave most of their head and leave a mullet (long straggly hair) remainder desperately clinging to the back? Is the length of the mullet directly proportional to their age or status in Bogan society? Or maybe inversely proportional to their intellectual prowess? Do the same rules apply to the growing of the big bushy, goatie cum beard? Some were humungous. Surely they inhibit stubby drinking? And what of gut size? Jeez, there were some tremendous efforts and much work had gone in to such cultivation- you've got to respect that. These and more questions, i will endeavour to answer in the rest of my travels- seeing as I'll be in Queensland soon, research will be easy as Bogans are very common there apparently (I mean look at Scary, Kev and Shano).
They had a Ladies parade with commentary for all the dressed up ladies. It
was hilarious. We were sitting on some seats over-looking the action,
surrounded by women studying the various dresses and hats. The commentator kept stumbling and i could see why. Presumably she didn't write the thing herself- i hope not anyway. "This is Doreen, wearing pink, green and orange, with a duck feather hat- did you..(pause)..pluck them yourself?" Exit outraged plump lady, purple face matching her pink, green etc etc. "Janine comes from Melbourne, welcome Janine( the insincerity was excruciating). Janine says she loves Western Australia, Perth and particularly Pinjarra and is so happy to be here. Thank you Janine!" "Strewth, she's trying to sway the judges, bloody Victorian!" said one of the large ladies behind us. "Yeah, wonder what else she'll do for them! Bloody bitch!" responded her large friend. Biting my tongue, I almost choked at the Q and A session happening on the stage- "Margerie, you've got a lovely purple dress and hat. Do you like purple" "Yes" says Margerie. End of interview. "Janine, how are you enjoying the day?""Oh, it's the best meeting i've ever been too, and I'd just like to say how beautiful it is round here and how smart all the men are dressed too" The ladies behind just snorted.

The horses paled in comparison to all this, but i still managed to blow
loads of cash- didn't win once. In Susan's honour, i put my shirt on a grey
Kiwi horse that looked strong, well toned and elegant- a dead cert, I
thought. 7th out of 9 wasn't bad really considering it was last for most of
the amble round the track(and it was an amble). Still, it was a fantastic
day and a very different travel experience.

I've been to the museum and gallery in Perth yesterday and today. Tonight
there is an open air cinema in King's park and they're showing Clockwork
Orange, which i've never seen. Should be superb views of the city too- I've
got my camera ready. Next stop will be ayers rock after a couple of days sipping cappucino's in Freo ( that's what you do there apparently) and snorkelling on Rotto,

See yas later,


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