Asian Nightlife is Crazy, Here’s Why!

So a few weeks in Thailand and the nightlife is crazy! I’m going to try and describe it to you, in a nutshell. 

Just around the corner

Step one is finding the venue. Getting around the maze of streets, alleys and back doubles is a challenge when you’re stone cold sober, let alone a few Changs down. If you’re told the place you’re looking for is nearby, bet your bottom dollar it isn’t. Like the notorious Lighthouse in Hanoi, Vietnam – on the upside it is open the latest but it’s also miles away from anywhere else. Once you’ve completed the expedition that is the cab ride and, dependant on whether the Federales have already shut it down for the night, all that’s left is to show your ID to the bouncers and hope they let you in. Lies. There’s no balding middle aged men pumped full of steroids high on power here, just stroll right in.

Kill the DJ

On arrival, expect to hear the DJ’s favourite song on full blast. What I have learnt throughout my Asian adventures is that once they like a song, they play it on repeat. So don’t be surprised when you wake up and know all the words to some of the cheesiest pop anthems the world has ever heard. 

No half measures

Forget being stitched up with a measly 25ml, you’ll be getting some serious bang for your Baht at the bar in Asia. Free pouring is taken to a whole new level, although the quality of the alcohol is questionable to say the least. However, when less is not more, it’s difficult to remain level headed. Any night that consists of drinking out of containers usually associated with playing on the beach is a recipe for a good night, or complete disaster, depending on your take on things. 


If you like starting fights in your local at home, you’re an idiot. If you’re travelling the world and trying to start fights, you’re a massive idiot. While enjoying a boogie in Sihanoukville, Southern Cambodia, a Dutch girl I was with made the ill fated decision of pouring her drink over a girl she was having a bit of an argument with. Unfortunately, her opponent was a local and quick as a flash, seven chicks surrounded the Dutch girl and proceeded to knock seven shades of shit out of her before she made an escape. Surprisingly enough there was no CCTV available to pinpoint the suspects. Not so surprising when you consider we were in a beachfront club and couldn’t find a member of staff that was willing to talk to us.

Female attention

A key part of the nightlife anywhere in the world is the chance for a bit of business time after closing hours. We all know the feeling, the night is winding down, you’re absolutely steaming, but somehow you’re still looking for a partner to spend the night with. Usually at this point, you admit defeat, stumble home, pestering several exes with late night phone calls on the way.

But it doesn’t have to pan out like this in Asia. Instead, you can find yourself swarmed by ladies you hadn’t noticed on the dancefloor, and they’re keen, maybe too keen? Wake up, they haven’t been swayed by your sophisticated Sangsom induced moves – you’re pissed as a parrot and they’re prostitutes.

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