Becoming a superstar!

The rest of the week…..
was crap basically! There was nothing to do except watch the rain come down outside! I had a bit of a kick about with the lads and discovered that I can actually take free kicks (told you I’d come back better than ever armo)!

The first coaching session…
Yes i know, this diary’s starting to sound more like a holiday, not a job…but low and behold, wednesday came and before I knew it we were racing down the highway heading for out first coaching session! We met our club co-ordinator…Russ…who greeted our slightly late arrival with the welcoming comment of “f**king english!” Off to a good start then….
And the session didn’t get any better…everything went wrong! The drills were too hard for them, the kids wouldnt listen to me and all I could do was panic…it was fair to say I was in a bad mood on the way home!

So thursday came and we were up bright and early to move into the beach house! We arrived in the pouring rain and the freezing cold…it wasn’t what I’d expected! But the house was massive and it was literally on the beach…so it cheered me up a little! I brought all my stuff in and began to set up shop for the next 2 months. To celebrate myself, tim and adam (a diffrent one from the last email) thought we’d head in New Haven for a night out seen as though it was cheap student nite on thursdays (cheap night on thursday…why does that seem familiar?) it was also one of the nights where most clubs allowed 18’s into the clubs…nothing special really happened, the clubs in america are nothing compared to the buzzing night life of bradford!

I woke up in the morning feeling extremely tired and didn’t feel up to the trek upto head office, still we had to and so we did and I recieved this great news:
“Mark, excellent news…we’ve found you family housing so you can move out of the beach house on sunday nite, its a big house and the guys a legend, you’ll love it!”

which translated to me as:

“Mark, bad news…you know that house that you’ve just moved into, you know the one its got about 4 bathrooms 12 bedrooms and a west wing, you know…that one on the beach? Yeah thats right, the one, the one that every1 will want to come to because its so big and in such a good location? Well I know you’ve only just moved in but we’re going to move you into another house, a house with a family in it…so when you get back from 6 hours of work in the baking summer heat, instead of popping into the nice cool sea in your back garden, you can go outside and play with timmy and tommy while mummy and daddy rite an essay of things they want to know about england, which you must answer in detail until there satisfied! That ok buddy, well tough if its not cos its already arranged”

The reason for this change being:

“We’ve got a guy to replace you, called Simon, and see, he can drive…which makes tim and simon more flexible as they dont have to go to the same place all the time when there working!”

Which translated to me as:

“Well you sincerely f****d up on wednesday, and I’m starting to doubt your ability to do this job! So what I’m going to do for myself is get you onto a much easier program with a guy whose very experienced so you cant f**k up! But instead of telling you the truth I’m going to spout some lies to make you feel better, that way you will never know where you’ve gone wrong…subsequently meaning you can never amend the problem!”

I’m just thanking my lucky stars I’m fluent in bullsh*t!

Ow and did I mention that they forgot to pay me…leaving me with around $13 dollars to my name!

When saturday came….

Finally…saturday came, and I had a chance to lay my demons to rest by going out onto the coaching field and doing a great job! I started off a little shakey…my confidence was really low, the sun was beaming down and I could feel the pressure, some of the kids were messing around again and I was at the point where I could lose the kids for the whole day and crumble, or assert myself as an authority figure that they must respect while still letting the children have fun and freedom…its hard to balance! You either end up becoming coach Hitler…or coach fairy…I dont think I have to explain what each means!

But I didn’t give up, I didn’t panic and before I knew it the kids were doing exactly as I’d told them…and having fun at the same time! The end of the session came and the coach came staright over to me and shook my hand “Good job coach mark” which was followed by a few parents shouting “yeah, way to coach the team” which sounded more like “yeah, wayda coach da team” (as americans struggle to pronounce the ‘ledder’ T!)

Then the day just got better and better, I was coaching some great drills, the kids were having fun the parents were happy to see their kids having so much fun and the coach’s were happy because they had this great ‘bridish’ guy to help em out! I even ended up signing a few autographs!
The club co-ordinator (who i thought was the reason behind me being switched) was ecstatic, the feedback had been so good that he had nothing but praise for myself and the way I’d coached! I was absolutely buzzing on the way home!

Sunday was a mixed day, here’s a breakdown of what happened:
I managed to get severely sun burnt (as I couldnt afford sun block), leaving the wierdest tan lines (v neck t shirt, fringe over face (yes i know have a fringe my hairs that long) shorts, socks etc)

All we did was referee games all day, 5 continous hours of refereeing!

I once again received good feedback about the day before, and all the kids recognised me and flocked around me like the superstar that I now am!

Ow yeah, and I moved out of the beach house! But just before I left the new arrivals came in and I met Simon, the guy who replaced me..turns out he cant drive afterall! Plus he’s the painfully quiet type, so much so that I cant see him being a good coach (at least not 1 that can command the respect of the kids, and I think the club co-ordinator will eat him alive)!
Stay tuned, this mite not be the end of my beach house dream yet!

So as I was saying, I moved out…and arrived at a guy called Al’s house, i unpacked my things from the car…and swiftly packed them again…this time into Al’s van, I was then driven to another house where I unpacked my bags again….to be told this was just a halfway house that I would be staying in for a week until the guy whose house I would actually be moving into was ready! However by this time I might even be back in the beach house! So who knows whats happening!

I dont have a clue whats happening this week…I dont know where I’ll be living! I dont know who I’ll be coaching, I really dont have a clue! In fact I think for most of this week I’ll be sat here at this computer waiting for replys and reading ‘the sun’ online….

Sorry this entry has dragged a little, I thought I’d make the entry resemble my week….it seemed to take ages to get through…but when you get to the end of it you realise that nothing much ever really happened!

So toodle-pip and tally bally ho!
Speak to you all soon and take care of yourselves….ow and ‘Have a nice day’


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