Look out Kiwis, here comes Joe

I’m six foot six, I’m English, the British Lions are currently touring NZ. Therefore, Kiwis assume I’m a rugby boy.

I’m not sure I like this. I don’t light my own farts, or drink other peoples vomit after all.

I watched us scrape past the Bay of Plenty in a bar called ‘Globe’ last night, and a couple of hours afterwards in a different bar some Kiwi overheard my accent, and started giving me abuse at how bad we were and how the All Blacks are going to wipe the floor with us.

Although I know the basics of Rugby and will watch the England games, I’m no massive fan. Thankfully a pamphlet I picked up at Auckland airport helped me out, and I recited some phrases I’d learnt on the transfer to our hostel (ACB). Namely ‘Aren’t England champions of the world?’ (lead balloon) Haven’t you failed to win the world cup since 1987? (lead beach ball) Doesn’t one of your key players wear eyeshadow? (lead zeppelin). All I got in response was “Yeah bit..bit…err…Junny Wilkinsins a bit uf a piff’.

Not as much of a ‘piff’ as a player who wears eyeshadow mate, shh.

Other than that I have been to see Star Wars twice, thanks to Andy and Lewis the star wars geeks for that one, and just wandered round Auckland a bit.

We start the Kiwi experience at twenty past eight tomorrow, so I should have a bit more to write about in the next few days.

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