Santa Martha

This week I have:

Dug out a river bed for a 120 year old Galapagos tortoise called Meldrew.

Had a bit of a wrestle with two Andean bears.

Been groomed by six baby Capachin monkeys.

Nearly had a fight with a full grown monkey who thought I was trying to steal his ´woman´.

Been in a cage with a full-grown, wild Jaguar.

Tickled a load of lions behind the ears.

Been accosted by a wild boar called Violet who thinks she´s a dog.

Got bitten by a baby Kinkachoo who aren´t as cute as they look.

Named an Ocelot.

Basically, we worked as volunteers at an Animal Rescue centre in Ecuador, and it was amazing! See the photos of you dont believe me!

Spent four weeks working at Santa Martha as their resident Dr. DooLittle… (Luca was my sidekick, he had a little cape and everything)… And it´s been amazing… Been in cages with fully grown, wild lions… played with full grown bears, and baby ones! … Re-built a cage for a spider monkey called Tasha… Carried massive logs up even bigger hills… Generally been working like a sand nigger but it´s all been totally worth it!

Oh, AND I got to watch Luca and Emma dive into a shit pile (when i say shit pile, I mean a big pile of nothing but shit… I´m talking 15ft long and 5ft high), and wrestle each other… suffice it to say that they were left very much alone in the corner for the rest of the night…

We also dug a big fucking hole… Now if you´re not a man, then you might not appreciate the spectacle that is a truly great hole… but we dug one… 6ft deep and 8ft wide… it was quite a sight to behold… We named it ´The Ring´ and it became our wrestling pit… this culminated with an American volunteer called Lata challenging our 6´5″ Kiwi boss to a wrestling match… suffice it to say he pummelled her ass, taking no prisioners… I knew there was a reason I liked Kiwis…

Oh… and Emma ate a live cricket that we found… but not before she let it jump around in her mouth for twenty seconds first… Erm… weird… and she also ate Neandu shit… now a Neandu is basically a big ostrich, so you can imagine the amount of shit one of these things produces… well she ate it… once again, a bit weird… but entertaining none the less.

Anyway, Friday night at the centre was drinking night, and every Friday was utterly hilarious… The final Friday however, was purely and simply legendary…

We went on a night safari of al the big cats… now you have to bear in mind that the cages are all pretty make-shift, and there´s no lighting, nor real steps, so basically you´re wandering around the woods, trusting you prior knowledge of where the cages are so as not to get clawed by a Jaguar as you stumble past it´s cage… We were also incredibly shitfaced, but determined to release some random eagle that had been bought into the centre… Well, me and Luca decided to go and play with the bears… at midnight… shitfaced… suffice it to say that both of us very nearly got clawed, very nearly got bitten, and very actually got punched in the balls by bears…

When we got back from our night safari, we started a bit of a sing-a-long, and me and Kate (the Aussiest Aussie you could ever care to meet) stood on a tiny ledge in the house and started singing Little Mermaid… which I was surprisingly good at… and which impressed Luca no end…

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