Don’t have a cow man! Have a sheep instead.

Man in court for courting animals

A judge has scolded members of a jury for getting fits of the giggles during an animal sex case.

Paul Lovell, an IT worker, stands accused of trying to sexually seduce cows and sheep in Enfield, north London. According to witnesses, he failed in his attempt to encourage a cow to fellate him, so instead crept up behind an unsuspecting sheep – commando style, of course – and tried to engage it in full intercourse.

It was all too much for the jury, who broke down into laughter after hearing how Mr Lovell – who was found by police wearing just shoes and socks – was rejected by the bemused cow and decided to “try his luck with a sheep instead”.

Witnesses were alerted to the bizarre series of events when they spotted Lovell undressing and then roaming the park naked before taking a shine to the local wildlife.

When police arrived and asked Mr Lovell what he was doing, he said: “Just relaxing.”

The case continues.